Ahh, domestic bliss!

I have many couples that call me after they have just moved in together and are trying to work out their organising styles – or lack thereof!

It can be a stressful time as it is without having the added burden of fighting over who does what, or who is tidier than who. These are topics that need to be sorted (pardon the pun) before your get your new keys, so grab a pen and paper and sit down with your significant other to nut out the details.

Unclutterer.com had a similar question for a newly wedded couple with the following advice:

• What is your vision of your place together and how you will live in that home? Will your home be a place to entertain your friends and family, and how often? Will your home be a place to relax and rejuvenate after a day of school or work? How do you want things to look and what do you expect out of the space?
• What will the both of you be responsible for every day? Do you expect dirty clothes to be put into the hamper? Do you want all dirty dishes to be loaded into the dishwasher or will it be okay to have them sit in the sink? How long can a project mess be left out on a table or in a room? How will these responsibilities be met and when?
• What chores will each person will be responsible for in the home? Will you take out the garbage or will he? Will you change the kitty litter box or will he? Who will cook, clean up afterward, scrub the tub and toilet, vacuum the carpet, dust? How will these responsibilities be met and when? Divvy these chores up now to ensure that one of you won’t be carrying the full load.
• Plan for handling frustrations in the future. There will be times when one of you will be more messy than normal and this will bother the other person. How will you handle conversations about these frustrations so you don’t hurt each others’ feelings, show respect for each other, and help you find the best solution?
• Review policies. How often will you review your daily and chore responsibilities? How often will you unclutter your closets, garage and other storage spaces? Will you take on spring cleaning? If you hire someone to clean, how often will you review their services and decide if you should keep them or hire someone new?

To read more go to: http://unclutterer.com/2011/03/18/ask-unclutterer-conversation-topics-to-discuss-before-moving-in-with-someone/

A keepsake box for their treasures

My husband lost his mother last week.

Losing a parent or a loved one is the most stressful thing that can happen in our lives, but for many it doesn’t end there. Although my mother in law had little possessions as she was in a nursing home, for some having to deal with what is left behind is the hardest job of all.

A letter to Unclutterer.com from a lady who recently lost her husband caught my eye addressing this very topic:

The most important thing you need to remember during this process is that you are not trying to forget your husband.

Uncluttering your home does not mean you are banishing him or turning your back on his memory. Uncluttering is a way for you to bring the best of him with you into the future.

As you start this process, seek out the treasured items first. Find the handful of his things that you value most and that best honor your memories of him. You will instantly recognize these special items when you see them, and they will remind you of his life and the life you happily shared together. Store these items temporarily in a secure location.

All the remaining stuff in your home that reminds you of him can be given away to charity, given to friends and family, sold, or distributed in whatever way you wish to unclutter them from your space. This could be a one-time process taking just a matter of weeks, or it might be an on-going process taking years. You need to move at a pace that is right for you. Don’t feel pressured to part with things if you’re not ready — you can spend however long in the reconstruction period as you need to.

Once the clutter is gone, find a way to honor the treasured items you decided to keep. Frame and/or display these things so you can enjoy them. Let these wonderful objects continue to bring you happiness. Since you’ll only have kept the most valuable pieces (and I don’t mean financially valuable, I mean the pieces that make your heart sing), they will remind you of the good times you shared.

Finally, if you find this process difficult to go alone, I really believe that hiring a professional organizer can be a good idea.

Read more here: http://unclutterer.com/2010/11/05/ask-unclutterer-uncluttering-after-the-loss-of-a-loved-one/

You are never too young to celebrate Australia Day!

Today is Australia Day – normally a day most Australians head outdoors to have a BBQ, play a game of cricket (or watch one) and crack open a tinne to celebrate being a true blue, dinky di Aussie. But Beyond the BBQ, beyond the backyard cricket, and beyond the fact that most of us get a day off work, what does Australia Day REALLY mean to us?

(For my international readers, Australia Day is commemorated each year on January 26th, the day The First Fleet (a group of ships from England) landed in Sydney Cove in 1788 to begin forming the Colony of New South Wales).

Get to know your friendly mail man

The Queensland floods have brought complete strangers together through both grief and support – but how well do you know your own neighbours or those you speak to everyday?

Just like the song from Sesame Street says “Who are the people in your neighourhood?”

Another post on Unclutterer called “Uncluttered benefits of learning people’s names” got me thinking of this very topic and how my own life has been enriched by knowing my newsagent, my car mechanic, the folks at my post office, the local bakery and liquor store. Not only is it great for the community spirit – but who knows what support they can give you (and vice versa) during an emergency such as a flood?

Unclutterer: I grew up in a small town where everyone already knew everybody else’s name. When I moved to a major city, I missed knowing my neighbors and the people where I went. So, a decade ago, I started making it a point to know people’s names. I know the names of the checkout clerks, butchers, and the wine and cheese buyers at the grocery store; I know the names of my regular mail man; I know the name of the woman who schedules appointments at my hair salon; I know the names of bus drivers, cab drivers, and the women who work at the dry cleaner’s. And, for the most part, these people know my name, too.

Although learning people’s names takes a little bit of time (you must strike up a conversation), I’ve found that the act has incredible uncluttering benefits overall. Had I not started talking with my butcher, I’d have never known that I can order a quarter of a cow (instead of a whole cow) from a local grass-roaming, organic farm each year and that the butcher will cut up the meat for me exactly how I ask him to, free of additional charge. Buying a quarter of a cow has saved me incredible amounts of money and time (I don’t have to run to the store).

Twice, I’ve called the receptionist at my hair salon and she has found a way to get me on the schedule at the last minute, and I haven’t had to whine or beg or threaten or do anything other than ask nicely. The mail and package delivery folks always wait for me to answer the bell, instead of slapping a sticker on the door and driving away like I know some of them do. I get my package on the first delivery attempt instead of having to go to a central office to pick something up or wait another day. Bus drivers have waited for me as I’ve hurried down the street. Simply stated, my life runs more smoothly because I’ve taken the time to learn someone’s name and taken a sincere interest in what they do. Read more here: http://unclutterer.com/2011/01/13/uncluttered-benefits-of-learning-peoples-names/

Who can you connect with today that will not only benefit your life, but who may have their lives enriched by you as well?

Starting a new life together - one box at a time!

Moving in together is such a big decision – the last thing you want to do is complicate matters by introducing your new partner to your old clutter.  Before you begin to combine your households, take a read of some helpful hits from Erin at Unclutterer.com:

For more tips go to: http://unclutterer.com/2011/01/07/ask-unclutterer-tips-for-moving-in-together/

A warning to the wife!

When I asked my friends and family for their decluttering dilemmas, I had responses varying from paperwork in the home office to tackling Tupperware in the kitchen. One recurring challenge that really struck me however, was the problem of what to do if you are organised and your partner isn’t.

Take my husband (please!). Being a Professional Organiser, I am extremely organised and declutter everything that is not nailed down around the house. The one area of the house I am not allowed to touch is the “man cave” – the garage and shed. This is his domain and whatever he chooses to keep or toss is his business and I respect that.

Being part of a mismatched couple is quite common. By “mismatched,” I mean couples where one of the people in the relationship is clean and organised and the other person in the relationship is messy and disorganised. This doesn’t necessarily cause a problem until it starts to put a strain on the relationship.

When considering moving in with someone (romantic or otherwise), a person’s level of tidiness and cleanliness should be part of the equation. Maybe this should also be part of pre-marriage counseling?

If you’re already in a living arrangement and are disappointed by your partner or flatmate’s level of order, it may be time for a little chat.

Here are some points to remember:

• No nagging. Treating someone with disrespect is never a good option. Either the person honors what you say the first time you say it, or they don’t.
• No bringing up the past. Set a time limit for how long after something happens that it can be discussed (like two weeks). If you don’t bring up the frustration within that time limit, you have to let it go. Also, if you’ve already discussed something, you don’t bring it up again to rehash over and over.
• Discuss the real problem. If you’re upset that your boyfriend repeatedly leaves his underpants on the bedroom floor your frustration has very little to do with the underpants. You’re upset because you believe he doesn’t care about the cleanliness level in the living space.

Sometimes, the person who is messier than the other doesn’t care if the house is tidy or clean. When this is the case, and if you’re the one who prefers a more orderly home, prepare to take on full responsibility for cleaning up after the other person. This may sound unfair, but think about the pent up resentment it will save.

Happily do the work because you’re the one who gets the sense of joy from an organised space. If that pair of underpants in the middle of the bedroom floor annoys you, just pick them up and put them in the laundry basket. The five seconds it will take you to move them are less than the time you will be angry with your partner if you don’t move them.

Another solution is putting some systems in place to deal with the mess where it happens. For instance, I have introduced a “docking station” in my home; a small table for car keys, sunglasses, wallets, spare change, handbag etc to be dumped as soon as you come in the front door. My husband and I know exactly where our personal items are and it stops the age old questions and arguments over “where did you put the car keys/my glasses, why can’t I ever find any change for the paper?”

You just need to think about how you live and find solutions that meet your actual needs and those who live in the space with you.

Another great idea is to designate clean rooms or messy rooms in your home. The lounge room is usually a “public space” that visitors would see, so this means it must be free of clutter. Whereas visitors would rarely come into your office or bedroom so they can be a bit less stringent with a once-a-week cleanup.

Finally, if you’ve tried all of the previous options and nothing is working for you, try seeking outside help such as a professional organiser or if the problem is more relationship based, maybe a couple’s counselor. It could be in the form of a cleaner twice a month. Let someone else handle the deep cleaning so that the light work is less of a burden and it gives you more time to enjoy together.

PS – My husband must have gotten a whiff of my blog today, he is currently under the house decluttering and organising his tool collection!